For 2 years now I have known the name of the little beast that has been disfiguring my life for 52 years: ADD. And who knows what secondary disorders have developed that make me even more different from other people than I want to be. People whose development did progress steadily, and who did not suddenly lose all connection in grade 3 grammar school. People who did achieve meaningful careers and happy families. No, then me: kicked out of all further education or fled from it, since then purely physical shitty jobs or hanging out in Steun, druks, gigantic bomb-craters in Relationship-land, been homeless, Pliesie, debt relief...in short: The Works! Taken an ADD course at the mental health centre, Mindfulness idemito, very-interesting-and-recognisable-and-so, but all in all little has actually stuck. The anti-depressant Wellbutrin (a dopamine preparation) is a real life-saver for me. I don't notice anything, only at a "moment le plus profond", I can reverse an aggressive self-destructive depression á la minute. Just pull the emergency brake, and hoppa: the dark clouds drift away. Great! Quitting is unthinkable; within six weeks all the fuses are guaranteed to blow. Because of the incurability of ADD and the "been there, done that" idea, I no longer seek help from the mental health services. I have also grown tired of the spiritual world, Zen meditation seems to make a small difference in terms of peace of mind and ability to put things into perspective. To be honest, I am not charmed by the Yankee-style hurrah talk of this site, yet I am grateful for your initiative. Because I am a bit fed up with it all, by now. Grtz, Guus.