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  1. Read with great interest. Busy searching for my son now 23 who is completely stuck in his life. We read your posts with great interest! ????

  2. Wonderful article. It sums up exactly how I "thought" myself into a downward spiral several years ago. I can find a lot on the internet about neuroplasticity, and changing your personality and thoughts through new thoughts and experiences, through the new creation of connections sounds very logical. But when I search NLP on the internet, I read that it is generally accepted as pseudo-science. How can this be? What exactly do you mean by NLP and how could it help if it is this pseudo-science I read about on wikipedia? Your entire article apart from NLP sounds completely logical and I also firmly believe in that power of change (having already gotten myself out of that mild depression lately with new experiences and thoughts) but how can I make use of a science that is untrue?

    1. Hi Peke, what he has brought to me is also incredible. With NLP you can really overcome a huge amount. It is nothing floating and without people doing it they use NLP every day. This is because the brain is plastic and still develops every day. Even in older people. It is a pity that it may not be given any attention in the mainstream but I can be very clear about that. In that industry it is totally irrelevant if people can heal themselves. People have to make money through endless therapies and preferably as many pills as possible. But real healing comes from within yourself and that is in its basis for very many things in your brain. This does not mean that it is psychological and therefore just between the ears. It's neurological connections that keep themselves instant if you don't break it. But yes, again, healthy people who know their own strength do not make money. So not interesting to them. That's how it is, unfortunately.

      But NLP, then, is neuro linguistic programming. It is nothing scary or floaty. All people unconsciously use it every day without knowing it. This is a quality of the brain so that it can continuously adapt to life throughout life. But for many people, the brain develops in a negative way. This is because it happens mostly unconsciously. For the brain, it doesn't matter whether it develops negatively or positively. If it is negative, you will potentially suffer all kinds of unpleasant issues like anxiety, gloom, tension, perfectionism and so on throughout your life.

      What it comes down to is having good new experiences. However, you don't have to sit and wait for these to happen one day in your life. As soon as you notice your brain getting into a negative pattern again, you can stop it. This is different from running away from it by just ignoring it. You can consciously stop it in your mind and immediately visualise a beautiful situation where you do feel strong. Or if you do it briefly stop it and get on with your activities. This is it very briefly. It is incredibly powerful and this is how you change your brain by training it to be the brain you want it to be.

      By the way, this is something many successful people often already do unconsciously without even knowing that what they are doing is NLP.

      So the great thing is actually that people have a choice. You really can actively change your brain and start feeling better than ever. But yes, the pharma mafia has no use for that.

      Greetings Jochem

  3. Hey Jochem,

    what a great piece! I wish everyone with AD(H)D realised that you can be the boss of your own thoughts. Too many AD(H)D'ers I know have resigned themselves to the drawbacks and limitations of the disorder and think it will never change and that is such a shame! I also started working with NLP and this has changed a lot for me in a positive way. I can recommend it to everyone.

    Keep up the good work :)

  4. Hello Jochem,

    I want to thank you very much for creating this site. I see a very well-organised and many times more comprehensive clear site than I have been able to find otherwise. Again; my thanks for all the information collected and clearly explained. I personally notice how much effort it always takes me to gather information on a certain topic and always get extremely annoyed by the fact that most sites know how to describe things so concisely that you actually still know almost nothing. And somehow I also always get lost on the internet. Or I end up on a completely different subject via e.g. the links and forget what I was doing. And that way I very often miss the target. In that sea of information, I lose focus and get bogged down in nonsense. Away precious time. Does this indeed fit with ADD? I myself suspect that I have ADD. Or am I ADD at the moment because I can't handle it yet? It feels that way by now. I have a lot of trouble separating main issues from side issues. I start something full of enthusiasm and then something grows over my head very quickly. I already have it with cleaning my house. Often, while vacuuming, I run into so many other things that I try to dust everything perfectly at the same time, use a wet cloth here and there, pass by the toilet and start scrubbing it only to discover that I need a dry cloth or the like, and then the mess in the scullery suddenly bothers me as well and I realise that I'd better start reorganising the shelves there, only to end up running out of time and not having finished anything. Even after that time, I am not even able to bring all the stuff back to where I got it from. I get really (am) very tired of myself then. It's been like this all my life, and there are times when I manage to organise things better so that even sometimes things go smoothly, but most of the time I am behind the times. Being late for anything is also so recognisable. I am also very often late. Furthermore, I am also hypersensitive and in a far from perfect marriage with two adolescents growing up, my emotions go from strength to strength. I feel like I am constantly switching from one emotion to another. I was and am very sensitive to addictions. Fortunately not for everything but for a lot of things and that has caused me a lot of misery in my life. Even being addicted to the wrong men is a possibility. I used to always pick the wrong boyfriends. Often guys with problems. With my husband too, I had a wrong past. Also, I suffer from the winter blues by default every year. And those periods can be long and intense with periods of complete lethargy for me. Not even energy or desire to do anything. Seeing the days I live and exist as a prolonged punishment and wishing it would end. During the periods when things are better again, I can't seriously imagine these thoughts but during winter, they are very emphatic and almost impossible to dispel. I am a real people person who normally feels best among people. That was also the most enjoyable part of my school and work periods. I haven't worked for almost 20 years now and also live on a quiet side of a village and even that eats up energy. In any case, the silence and loneliness don't do me much good. But there are definitely periods like in summer when I feel very happy with the house and the place. But then there is always something to talk about behind the house as well since there are many dog owners walking around and we also have a dog. So then I do get my social contacts.
    Now I have to read through all the pages and links again at my leisure instead of picking out snippets that caught my eye. Hence my thanks to you Jochem. I have the idea that I now don't spend, I don't know how much, time looking for information. You have picked out a lot and described it very clearly and comprehensively. By the way, I myself have yet to get confirmation from a psychologist that I am indeed an ADDer. But in my opinion, there is no other way.

    1. Dear Aly. I think it sucks to be all over the place. But it also shows that you are intelligent. But don't get involved in. material things either. Blame your partners yes because it users. But you ran ahead. You don't virtue and you blame people who don't deserve it.

  5. Dear jochem

    Very interesting, I joined this site for my son and find lots of tips and information for him and myself. Super!

  6. Great collection on how to change one's own behaviour though..... my words fail me how one and other now falls into place of everything I feel, know and do in my life (now 50 years old).

    It feels very logical this plasticity of the subconscious and the appropriate tool NLP.
    This all falls together as appropriate parts. Who wrote this ?