Anonymous received life story from someone about their life with ADHD, divorce and dealing with expressing feelings in relationships
ADHD and expressing your feelings in relationships
After my child was diagnosed with ADHD, I started looking into it. During her intake interviews, it soon became clear that there were many similarities between child and father.
Just had myself tested six months back and BINGO ......
Relief was short-lived, at first I thought fine, now I'm sure things will be much better.... How big a mistake that was is still apparent every day.
Why didn't I see/ test/ know this before...? Then things might have turned out differently then I wouldn't have .../ nor .....
Since 2 years I have been divorced ..cause ADHD? Or just prolonged because of ADHD...?
Who knows...in the meantime, I realise that the answer to that question will never come and that 2 people are involved here too, each with their own part to play. I am managing better and better to put that guilt to rest.
Also the mood swings, famous and notorious in my relationship. One minute I'm sitting on a terrace, only to find myself in my own house doing my own thing, with all sorts of things not working out and then the thing I need not being there.
MIS!!!!! Completely stressed out and my relationship, which is just then trying to get in touch, can't take it anymore.....
Afterwards, it turns out that the relationship is struggling on more levels than just me, but as a boiling ADHD'ER I overlook that for a moment and blame it entirely on myself....." how come you don't know how to proceed....PRIMA ! I do know!!! Good luck , success, los ballos, have fun with the rest of your life ( without me .....) pfffffffffff.....short fuse ....welneee....
To then an hour later and a few less heartbeats, pull out all the stops to save what can be saved . The outcome ........
Much better communicating what is going on, how is it meant, asking out and indicating .
Admitting that things are not going your way and that you feel sorry for yourself for a while makes people understand your attitude. The other person knows he or she is not to blame and that it will pass. Even so, it's not easy for the other person.
But to put your feelings on the table every time something bothers you ......pfffff
I don't know, too much is not good in any case, it will take a lot of hard work to change some behaviour.
Becoming aware is one thing but feeling good about it is quite another. Breaking the pattern of all those years just like that.....? SUCCESS!
that takes time..a lot of time....is it worth breaking through....? You can only decide that for yourself.... In my case, I am fortunate to have found a great friend, of course with her own problems too, but someone who makes it immensely worthwhile for me to overcome certain ADHD things, to address.
It certainly won't come naturally and where it ends up no idea, but I'm going for it.
First, deal with the mood swings and " know" in advance how the situation will go.
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