My life with ADD... From disorder to strength

Me and my ADD label

In 2011, a new phase in my life began. I was in my graduation year at (fashion) art school and was diagnosed with ADD. The ADD label helped and explained a lot but I also let it make me feel extra insecure. I anticipated a range of setbacks because what I had always found troublesome about myself would apparently never go away.

After graduating, of course, 'real' life would have to start. I kept tough but I had no idea what I wanted, didn't dare apply anywhere for fear of 'falling through the cracks'. I was not specialised enough (I thought) and I was afraid that, once hired somewhere, I would be too quickly demotivated or make mistakes (fear of rejection all around). So I kept working in the pub as a base, and thinking that this way I could avoid rejection, I signed up as a self-employed person. Pretty logical step if you don't know what you want, right?

 

Work and travel

Luckily, by the time I realised I couldn't get assignments this way, modelling came my way. I travelled to major European cities to work. Definitely not a fat pot and sometimes quite stressful but I had accommodation, food to eat, friends, I could go out in clubs without spending money and I loved walking around those cities alone, visiting museums and drawing and people-watching on park benches. Plus, that connection with the fashion world remained (networking!) and it looked to people back home like I was doing fat. Travelling model, cool right? ;)

Meanwhile, it still gnawed at me that I had to do something with that study, I was still telling people that I would one day be a real fashion designer. While I knew I didn't actually desire that.

 

Following my heart

In 2013, my father proved terminally ill, which made me decide to stop travelling for work. I went back to work in the Netherlands. As a waitress, barmaid, giving sewing lessons, and the occasional modelling job. There was a time when I struggled to make ends meet, could no longer pay the rent and went to live with my mum. Pretty galling but it did give me space to think about how to move forward. I have never really been one for planning and I knew that 'following my heart' was the way to go, but it dawned on me that I had not followed that heart much in recent years and had mostly listened to others.

Suddenly, something started rolling. Through a friend, I got housing again in a big city. His employer moved into an anti-squatting commercial building and I was able to move in. It cost me almost nothing, had plenty of private space and I was so much more conveniently located for the work I had from time to time. Then, believe it or not, I fell in love with my flatmate. We got into a relationship, I got a nice job at a clothing shop and we bought a cat. Yes, bam, stability!

That from that first session my life changed completely I would not claim. But when I walked away from her, the realisation that prevailed was: 'Everything is O.K.! How come I never saw before how OK everything is!'

 

The turnaround in my life through Access Bars

This was also when I underwent my first Access Bars session. A treatment developed by Gary Douglas of Access Consciousness? A good friend of mine had just started this and after her stories about all the possible effects it can have on a person, I had become curious.

It involved me just lying down and she would gently touch my head with her fingertips. For ninety minutes. That touch would allow me to release the limiting patterns in myself. Not all at once, but each session I would be 'lighter'. I had quite a big backpack that needed to be lighter, a brain that was working overtime and my first session with her was free, so the choice was quickly made.

 

Everything is OK

That from that first session my life changed completely I would not claim. But when I walked away from her after the Bars session, the prevailing feeling was: 'Everything is OK! How come I never saw before how OK everything is!' I experienced so much peace and space in my mind, there was nothing negativity that had a grip on me. That night I slept deeply and long and woke up smiling. How long that feeling lasted that week I don't remember. But now, countless sessions on, I can say that that feeling is a choice. It was always a choice, but before, I just wasn't aware of it. That's what the Bars and the tools of Access? help me with; making me more aware. More aware of who I am and can be, of what I really desire and of the choices available to create that.

The idea that I first had to be or have something to deserve something, that is simply not my reality anymore. I am less and less concerned with who I should be according to other people's realities. I can do anything as long as I rest in the knowledge that there is always choice. That every choice creates and that I am not in control of events, but I am in control of what I choose. My thoughts, my actions, my reactions, in every area; choice. For me, that knowledge encompasses the true meaning of Wealth.

That most do not yet understand how to interact with 'us' so that everything becomes easier and toffer, is only a matter of time.

 

The potency of my ADD brain

These days, I rarely tell people that I am ADD have. It's not so relevant anymore. Well, don't get me wrong, I personally love it because I have seen what I am capable of partly because of that ADD brain. ADD, ADHD, HSP and everything on the Autistic spectrum I see as superpowers. And there are more and more of us! The fact that most don't yet understand how to interact with 'us' so that everything becomes easier and tougher is just a matter of time. The thing is, I used to use the term to explain why I didn't get something right or had a stitch up. I used to hide behind the ADD which made me focus way too much on what wasn't succeeding and thus trapped myself. It no longer hinders me and is therefore no longer relevant to me. There is now room for my potential and I am more and more willing to make/confess mistakes, be wrong and acknowledge that something is not working. Hello infinite possibilities!

Access Bars practitioner

I have now been an Access Bars practitioner myself for 5 years and also give all kinds of other Access Consciousness energetic body treatments and tools? It's the last thing I could have imagined as something I was going to make a living from when I graduated in 2011. But, it is the greatest gift I have ever given myself. I no longer have any fears about what the future holds. Only curiosity and excitement, like right before that new rollercoaster you're on goes off the brakes. Woohoo! What else is possible?

Well, Access Bars?... A little more explanation perhaps?

Perhaps I should start by explaining what we mean by the concept of energy, since that is the essential aspect of the treatment. Science tells us that everything is energy. That which is alive but also that which does not seem to be alive and the empty space in between (which is therefore not really empty). Everything is made up of molecules, which in turn consist of atoms > electrons > neutrons > protons. We can perceive those molecules as vibrations. Energy is basically everything that has a vibration/frequency. And so that is well eh, EVERYTHING.

We continuously influence that energy with what we eat, breathe, touch, hear and see but also with what we think and feel and what meaning we give to certain things. By now, several studies and researches have revealed this. We are beginning to understand it, scientifically speaking. Ever heard of the 'Bully a Plant' project? This demonstrated the effect of bullying. Two same plants, same amount of water and sun and same atmosphere. Plant A is told loving words for 30 days, plant B is told nasty, hurtful words for these 30 days. Plant A blooms profusely, plant B languishes and shows decay. The energy of the words affected the plant's cells and molecules.

Create your own reality

Placebo action is a similar story. As long as the belief is strong enough or repeated regularly, the cells and molecules respond to what the brain/body emits and trigger something that will confirm that belief. What goes around comes around, but without the judgmental element. No right or wrong. It's basically; what bean emits is what bean attracts. We can argue that our views and thoughts create our reality and so we can simply make different choices to create a more desirable reality. True. However, sometimes we get ourselves so stuck that we don't notice the choices or are afraid to make them. Now that's where the Bars? come in around the corner :).

The Access Bars, developed by Gary Douglas, are 32 points on the head in which all the polar electrical charge of all attitudes, thoughts and emotions on all kinds of aspects and topics of a human life are stored. By touching those points with the fingertips (by the practitioner), a flow of energy takes place. You can compare this to touching the poles of a battery. The charge of all the thoughts, attitudes and emotions that limit you can then begin to release.

Changing or releasing that charge is an essential part of healing because you can literally think yourself sick , depressed and anxious. Once we learn and are empowered to see and choose other possibilities, the healing/healing or finer life, if you will, can begin. A life where the word 'normal' has no meaning, you move beyond labels and you live only in infinite possibilities.

If you want to know more about this, you can visit click this link.

:)

Love!

Thiska van den Heuvel

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