Attention to your real needs
My first guest blog was about 'survival tips' for High Sensitivity. A number of reactions indicated that it is not yet so easy to follow these tips, as things are not always made easy for you in society. I can well imagine that, but there is a big misconception behind it, which I will try to shed some more light on from my own experience.
If I start to feel and listen more from within to what is right for me, dare to live my needs and individuality, my 'lifestyle' becomes very different. If I look at what is coming at me from outside and always anticipate it, I become enormously overstimulated. Feeling from within and listening carefully to my needs goes against my high sensitivity, namely that I sense very well what is expected of me and am very eager to meet it. I love harmony and putting others at ease. But that is also often at the expense of my own well-being and energy. It is not for nothing that many highly sensitive people become burnout at some point in their lives. It is then necessary to start discovering yourself in a new way and practising, for example, with the survival tips for high sensitivity from my previous blog.
At the beginning of 2014, I started taking myself very seriously for once and resolved to work on looking inwards, scrutinising myself this whole year. What feels right for me right now? What have I assumed and done all because I felt things so well, but what is not really mine? Where am I passing myself by and at what cost?
By taking a period for self-examination and also making new choices, I am going against the maelstrom of what 'society expects of me' and what I wanted to live up to. I am getting to know myself really well only now. Society is me and when I make different choices, I am also shaping a different society. This is a very exciting road and I must tell you that it makes me very happy. But my energy is far from what it can be. For years I have been 'passing' myself by, so recovery also requires patience. And it means e.g. that I have currently put my work (own practice) on a very low burner to have enough rest to actually go inward. This also causes anxiety sometimes, because I do have an income to earn with a family with 3 children. I don't want to be guided by fear and strangely enough, I am learning to trust more and more and things are happening that allow that to happen.
My guiding principles focus on simplicity and peace, attention to what is really important in life and what I recharge from. Paying attention to the little things. Enough attention and time for my children, so also that I don't stay busy in my head with other things when I'm with them. Being outside enough, walking in nature. Clear plans, time to recharge after exertion. Fresh and clean food grooming. Yoga, meditation...
So it requires a NO to what doesn't fit in there and you know it's a big YES to myself! Very much getting used to it, step by step. And maybe my income has gone down, but correspondingly my mood has gone up. And not everyone is clapping along the side avenue, so to speak, wow MARJAN you are listening to your needs more and more, you are exploring much more what suits you, you are not letting society's hurried maelstrom drive you crazy anymore, wowowowow. NO, the confidence and self-assurance grows by doing it and so it also comes from within!
It takes every day Paying attention to your real needs. Practising and experimenting with this is a huge challenge with great rewards. More on that later.
Feel free to ask questions, comments very welcome, :-)