Shirly’s leven met Dyslexie en HSP

Received life story from Shirly on her discovery of dyslexia and high sensitivity

Nu snap ik waarom ik mij altijd zo anders voelde, ik ben gewoon HSP’er

Hello all,

Ever since my primary school days, I knew I was different. Classmates thought I was a weird girl and unfortunately I was also bullied as a result. I am not saying that I never did anything, because I know from myself that I also did things that were not accepted. Because of a troubled primary school time in which I struggled a lot, especially with language and reading comprehension, my mother wanted me to be tested for dyslexia. I was about 8 years old at the time. The diagnosis and explanation of dyslexia I ended up getting only when I was 15 just before my high school exams.

For me, it was nice to finally be diagnosed after all those years of struggling. Only it didn't stop there. I was a very difficult adolescent, unable to show emotions and distracted a lot by the things happening around me. This made it difficult for me to focus on my school in particular. During classes, I was always drawing, staring outside, drumming my fingers on the tables, etc. Many students as well as teachers thought I was a weird person, I was different and this was also expressed to me. I was quiet, didn't stand out and I was always thinking. During that time, I received nasty comments from fellow students that have always stuck. It was a difficult time where I mostly tangled with myself.

I went to a psychologist when I was 18 because I had built a big wall around me over the years and because I didn't know what to do with myself. I developed both physical and mental symptoms. In fact, I started doubting myself and believing that I was indeed weird and different! Talking to the psychologist helped me to loosen up and finally show emotion. Because I made comments during the sessions about the clock (the loud ticking of the clock) and the paintings hanging there (could explain in great detail), a light went on in his mind. He took several tests from me and then diagnosed me with a HSP’er ben. To be honest, I had never heard about it before and asked him for an explanation. Through the explanation, a lot already became clear to me. Together with the psychologist, I tried to give it a place.

Now I am 22 and I still regularly suffer from my high sensitivity. Het tikken van klokken, emoties bij anderen zien, sferen aanvoelen, het vooruit denken, het anders denken. Ook kom ik meer onder de mensen, die ik vroeger liever links liet liggen omdat ik de drukte niet aan kon. Ik ga naar festivals die buiten zijn, dat geeft namelijk meer rust en ruimte dan dat ik naar een discotheek zou gaan. Ik voel wel goed aan wanneer het voor mij te druk is en dan zoek ik even een rustiger plekje op. Ik zie niet alles negatief want er zijn ook veel positieve kanten die ik meemaak doordat ik een HSP’er ben. Zo ben ik heel creatief en doe ik graag precisiewerk. Ik help mensen door te luisteren daar ben ik namelijk wel goed in. Ik weet dat ik niet raar ben of anders. Ik heb dyslexie en ik ben een HSP’er.

But everyone has his/her own thing, right?

Shirly