Received life story from Lotte on the ups and downs in her life with HSP
Four years ago, I discovered that I was hsp was. And not so little but in the highest degree there is. It was coming home for me. I finally got answers to all my questions but the hardest part was accepting my high sensitivity. 47 years I felt different and not at home here. I had more connection with the spiritual world than here on earth. So now I no longer had to strive to be normal but went on a journey of discovery of who I really was.
I had balanced myself for years but after a divorce, a sexual assault at work, the death of my children's father and the death of my best friend (all this happened in 1 year), I became seriously over-stimulated. The overstimulation became chronic culminating last year, ...when I also lost my job a total nervous breakdown. I couldn't take it anymore and was totally spent.
My family doctor prescribed xanax for me. I loved the stuff. Finally I felt I could function. I spent 2 weeks on a deck chair in the garden. Just enjoying the peace and quiet. Nothing could bother me. After 2 weeks, I got an idea. I loved massage, by the way, is also a gift of mine and wanted to become self-employed. I started a business giving healings/massages. Soon I noticed that people could literally suck out my energy and I was left empty. So putting me more into protection and I found. ..I don't need that xanax anymore. I'll phase that out and leave it. Until I started getting hyperventilation. I had had this regularly in the distant past and I knew with meditation and breathing exercises this will go away. Not so. I reached back for the xanax. But it made me so drowsy and my character began to change. I was no longer the sweet lotte who lived from her heart but had become an insensitive person.
When I went to the psychologist because I was still in treatment for the sexual assault, we discussed the medication I was taking. Apparently, xanax is addictive and it also promotes hyperventilation. Well fine I thought. That's where I am now. ..so switching to an anti depressant and tapering xanax. Well from that anti depressant my libido went away and I didn't feel like that either. So I pulled out my trash can and tipped all the meds in the trash. A hell of a time I went through with withdrawal symptoms and one panic attack after another. But after a while, I was through that too. In balance like years before, I still wasn't.
Meanwhile, I was in a new relationship. (Which for someone with hsp is also stressful) and all my traumas came back to the surface. I often said to my current husband, there is such a thing as a pill for people with asperger's why doesn't it exist for people with hsp. My husband has asperger's and his medication for reducing stimuli works perfectly. Of course there is something like medication for hsp'ers but it makes you so drowsy or drugged and I don't want that.
So spent a whole year working on myself. Started a study on "how to deal with high sensitivity " but I still got over-triggered 3 times a week and how....morning when I got up I kept thinking. ..my God what was that like again yesterday. I couldn't believe the day after myself that I had been so overstimulated again.
I was back on Facebook one evening and saw an article pop up about high sensitivity and Lto3. I started reading and reading and got wildly excited. I thought eureka THIS IS IT and ordered it immediately. Like a true hsp'er befits, I fluffed out all the info about Lto3. I checked out all the reviews and at one point I came across a site with not-so-thrilling comments about lto3. I thought Lap here you have it - it's probably fake. They thought the site was too good to be true and questioned the man in question. They also thought the product was way too expensive. Well I thought it was not that bad. If the product worked then I had my life back. I thought apparently she has no complaints. And she was clearly looking for people with a negative experience. She did get those but there were also people who didn't share her opinion. So I thought wait and see and try it myself. I already knew it didn't work for everyone and that someone with hsp could have side effects in the beginning.
On the Monday, the package arrived. I immediately took 3 pills. I lay outside in the sun and a few hours later I noticed a tremendous calmness inside me. A calmness that I had literally never felt before. I thought WHAT that can't be that it is already working. This is a natural product and surely it needs at least a week to work. So later I read that it did indeed work immediately. My God this was blissful. I went out of my mind. I no longer lived in the past or the future but in the present and I enjoyed myself to the full. In the morning I woke up with a blissful feeling of happiness and peace. But in the evening all hell broke loose. I was overtriggered and everything was back in full force. It seemed I was even less balanced. My husband said to me....I don't know what it is with you the last few days but you are really unbearable. A lot of heart pain came on from trauma and I felt I was starting to hyperventilate. Now was that the side effects in someone with hsp. It said in the advertisement hold on. Reduce the dose and gradually build up. I didn't think about reducing the dose. Just get on with it. And a few days later I felt that balance again. Sleeping is still not good but I don't mind that so much.
I am currently 2.5 weeks into it and feel so good. I am back to being the independent lotte and the eternal optimist. Sometimes I still get overstimulated. But what used to take a whole day or even weeks to get out of my system...now takes a few hours or sometimes as little as half an hour. It is not a miracle pill that solves all your problems and presents you with a perfect world. No, the problems I struggle with every other person has, but I too can now put them into perspective. Give it a place faster and it no longer dominates my world.
I used to depend on my feelings. Now I have feelings with life. That is something completely different. I have my life back. I am still an hsp'er with huge feelings but I am finally enjoying the gift and the beauty of all that someone with hsp has to offer. And expensive? ??? What is expensive when you get your life back.
Lotte's update on using LTO3 after 2 months:
I'll take the Lto3 now 2 months and it has changed my life drastically. The first day I took it, after a few hours, I noticed how calm I became. Inner conversations and dialogues were gone. I thought whoow is this working already. It was so blissfully quiet and calm in my head and I was enjoying the here and now. For the first time in the morning I woke up with a smile on my face. But in the day, it seemed to help less. I had read about side effects in people with hsp but I didn't want to change my dose. Just grit my teeth and sit out the first week. After that, peace returned to me. I no longer worried about futilities. I didn't add a story to a situation so I didn't get over-triggered and instead lived in the here and now. If I had a problem, I reacted to the facts and after 10 minutes I went on with my life.
After the second month, I wondered. Does this really work. I also asked my husband that. And he answers, ..I don't notice any difference no. But I did feel a difference.
Today I forgot to take my pills and I thought. ..well there are some who don't take them at the weekend so give them a try. Well big fat mistake on my part. In the evening I got a dead normal message and I freaked out. I saw images of previous conversations, I got anxious and I just couldn't get out of the overtrigger phase I was in. I got a bomb of negative feelings and always the conversation and images kept playing before my eyes. It made me so convulsive that my whole body cramped up and I felt only anxiety. I immediately took my LTO3 but before that worked I was completely freaked out. I was crying. Because I also found it frightening. If after leaving 1 dose I reacted like this. ...ooo I couldn't think about if I suddenly couldn't order lto3 because without it I had much less quality of life.
Yep I was in a negative spiral and I couldn't get out of it. One lucky thing is that I can talk very well to my husband. But when I am overtriggered he prefers to avoid me as I get even more worked up and then he said. I remember telling you that I didn't notice any difference with you but now I see it. And I reply. ..and I still keep quiet on the outside because I know what futilities it is and that I react this way because of my hsp. But in my body and in my head a war raged. ...After about 3h, the LTO3 started working and I became calmer but the effects of my overtrigger phase were there. My nervous system was overloaded and with the slightest thing I had a short fuse. Yes my pills I never forget to take again.
You know what it is. When the anxiety disappears and there's peace in your mind . ...and are no longer constantly busy with storylines going on in your head, so much space becomes available for other things. Then you can enjoy nature. ..everything beautiful. Because LTO3 doesn't make you tired and lifeless or make you feel numb. In the beginning it brings out the fatigue of years of fighting with yourself but afterwards comes the enjoyment. ...The blissful peace. ...If I doubted whether LTO3 works. Then I did get an answer to that today. I really don't want to be without it anymore.
I finally have a quality life.
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