Received life story from Jessica
Jessica sees Auras and has body outtakes
Wat a good initiative this site.
Let me introduce myself. I am Jessica (adopted=attachment problem= then again gives symptoms very similar to autism pdd nos) I work in elderly home care.
Since a month, the policy has changed as the team is self-managing. The location manager is now a coach and is not allowed to intervene... All my colleagues were struggling with 1 client except me. I was ahead of his mood because I saw/sense that this guy was building up. So with me, he almost never shouted. Explaining to my colleagues how I work was not understood. And not believed by some either. I got an improvement plan on my trousers. So my colleagues want me out. This has been playing for 6 weeks now.
In the past, I could receive images from my housemates but now that I am very pressured, I also see auras sometimes and had the other day when I was sitting on my bed that t looked like I was being lifted up and looked from above on an old Indian woman with grey hair, who was more dead than alive. (I wasn't asleep!) That fortunately only lasted for a moment. (Looked suspiciously like an out-of-body experience)
As a pdd-nosser, I used to always try to sense everyone without knowing it so that I could assess them correctly and thus stay out of the wind. No one sees me, no one gets me, no one ever puts me out. So I was subconsciously a master at sensing others. But these days, that means it's done consciously. Seeing auras and stepping out of my body I find very annoying. Not letting the other person (the client) enter emotionally is something I'm great at. This makes me not afraid and safe for the other person. And that is not believed not understood and distrusted within my profession.
The other day a colleague asked me, but aren't you intimidated when a client is fierce. I see that as them trying to get under my skin. e.g. (I'm brown...) I'm showering a little lady and she says: "If I see a black one, I'll knock it out" Let's see if she can lure me out of my tent. This lady is a bit at the bottom of the social ladder... a bit simple but a cute little lady. My reaction. I immediately saw an image before me, this lady poodle naked with a shower brush in her hands, at a stretched trot busy whacking a big nigger out of her house! So I burst out laughing and said.... "So, that sounds fierce...." Are you really going to do that? (so yeah...) boy hey..... But uh not for one thing or another, I'm not green I'm not red I'm not blue..... and now,? Are you going to beat me out of the house now too? No I was sweet. .... So what I mean to say I'm not afraid because I feel and deal with it lightheartedly don't let t come in..... one doesn't believe me and go In that improvement plan change my basic attitude.... (and also my autistic disposition, not always understanding things immediately etc )And after such an improvement plan, that should be over..... No chance, but refusing an improvement plan is the end of the story.
So I'm busy applying for a job, an interview on Monday. Now another 3 days off... But I need to see about calming down... I already walk the dog a lot, preferably slowly and quietly...... Grounding yourself well also seems to help. But I'm not very good at that.... Keeping looking ahead job applications etc so I can get out of this shark puddle calms down too.... But I so need to calm down....
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