Auras see with pdd-nos

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  1. So what a recognition! A colleague already felt something she couldn't place with me. Maybe she is HSP too? When I mentioned that I have had the PDD NOS diagnosis since I was 6 (now 25), she understood....

    However, I don't think it's PDD NOS... I'm sure I'll have autism features (that's now with HSP) but not PDD NOS. Just some examples:

    - I am straightforward , says what she thinks. Also says what bothers her even though she thinks it's super
    tricky
    - Saying no I have super much trouble with . If my mother or colleague asks "Do you want to do this or that?" it's almost always a yes. Even if I'm low on energy, even if I don't actually have time
    - When I enter a room I sense the atmosphere unerringly. The feeling that I get stuffy from the energy in the room e.g. after two people have just had a fight.
    - I can take criticism very well but I take it personally and mull it over for a long time because of guilt towards the other person
    - Emotions of others come crashing in. I hate arguments and disagreements. Often take them personally
    - When I experience too much work pressure, I start making mistakes. I can no longer keep my head in the game. Planning sometimes goes completely haywire
    - I clam up and am a yes-and-answer person when everything gets too much for me and I have no energy to defend myself. If I dare to defend myself, others think I come across as blunt (which is probably when all the emotion comes out at once).
    - I consider others more important than myself , loved ones, colleagues and clients alike
    - I always want to do everything perfectly (and that doesn't work in healthcare)
    - Shifting gears is a thing, some colleagues notice it when I get stressed. Switching gears a few times is no problem, but the whole shift is more difficult.
    - I love my work but I also live for it. There are jokes and laughter but also serious conversations. Those conversations then stick with me for days, weeks , months....
    - I often worry about the client or colleague for (too) long.
    - I want to be 100% sure I have done everything and often check in my head that I have (even after working hours )
    - I can lie very well when necessary , a person with PDD NOS cannot do that at all, not even a little white lie
    - It irritates me when a client (with classical autism) reacts in a certain way and the colleague says of ? "You should understand that since you also have autism."? However sweetly meant, it hurts. I can then go all defensive but what good does that do?
    - I am very sociable, even a real chatterbox (to the irritation of some ???).
    - I can sense when a client is not comfortable in their own skin

    I am already looking for someone who can officially diagnose HSP. I did take a test with a psychologist once and it came out very clearly but I'm afraid I'll never get rid of that label PDD NOS again....

    Also, I was wondering if anyone might have any tips on what things to improve.

    My mother does not believe in the HSP diagnosis but HSP combined with PDD NOS does not exist, according to my psychologist. ?Just throw your PDD NOS diagnosis in the bin, she said ??? Girlfriends with HSP I recognise tremendously in myself with?

  2. Dear Jessica,
    What a poignant story. I think you are golden. May be in counselling, because you actually see people as they are and are not afraid of them. I recognise your story well, but think that in our society, labels are all too quickly put on as soon as someone's behaviour from the outside is not what is considered socially desirable. This happens much more often than it used to (I was born in the 1960s myself). Whereas what is needed more than ever is an eye for the person behind the patient, what that person is experiencing, what that person has been through. If that has been too intense, it is logical that there are strong reactions. Treating those same patients even more violently, so that they remain calm in behaviour only for form's sake, poses a great risk. Just like a volcano, if no space is given to let off steam, at some point the whole thing will explode, out of its skin. I can imagine that experts by experience, like you, are very good at sensing what someone who has suffered the necessary damage in his or her life needs. It is important, however, that in addition to understanding the person in question, you should at some point focus on behaviour. Because understanding without behavioural change, help goes from the shore into the ditch ... boys, in particular, get into trouble because of this. They need physical-emotional support instead of verbal-emotional support. So just go out and romp and be physical and during these kinds of activities, reflect on what is going on inside them, what they radiate, how they feel inside. In our very verbal culture, that has kind of taken a back seat... with all the consequences that entails!

    You are quite right to move away from a workplace where you are not heard. After all, that's fighting a losing battle, and you won't progress there. I wish you strength, success and happiness in finding new work. Keep following your own inner compass and what feels right for you! You know and see a lot, don't let other people's ways distract you, your way is yours ;-)